Using the below replies from a discussion board, make changes to script 1-2 to add in the rewrite of the script. Below the reply is the script attached:
I really enjoyed the first two pages of your script. It appears to have two very interesting characters and an intriguing premise. I like the theme that people are not always as they appear unless I am mistaken, I believe that is the road your following with your screenplay. Marrynne seems to be much more than the simple girl she’s masquerading as, just the same with Dylan not letting her know he is a detective. I’m interested to see the background and history these two characters share. How long have they known one another? Are they just friends, acquaintances, or something more? Your opening image was very captivating and makes an obvious statement to what kind of man your protagonist is. He is at a fancy restaurant, surrounded by couples but is not in the least uncomfortable in his casual dress. This shows us Dylan is very confident and comfortable with who he is. However, I did not see who the opening image related to your theme very much. Maybe you could add some of the couples around Dylan laughing and smiling at their date, but Dylan seeing the fake smiles and pondering the lack of genuineness in the world. This is only a suggestion, but I think something that revealed your theme in your opening image would make your story more insightful and give the start to your screenplay a nice hook. I look forward to reading more from you!
Additional info: You will be required to choose a specific idea and write two, 2-page scripts, and a rewritten scene in Writers Guild of America (WGA) properly formatted page form. Each one of the 3 writing assignments will have a dedicated purpose.
SCRIPT ATTACHED BELOW:
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