Prevention Plan for Divorce Before Marriage

Phuong Ho Prof. Janice Falbert CDFS 321 Section 9 Personal Relationships Wellness Philosophy Paper (PRW) Fall 2012 Marriage is one of the most essential factors of human life. It creates the basis for everyone to pursue a better, healthier, and happier life. However, it is the fact that there are more and more couples marrying and then ending up with divorce, and this rate is increasing faster year by year. Actually, all the divorce cases are originated from some of the forms of emotional illness that gradually appear in each partner during the time of their relationship.
It is good to cure these forms of emotional illness to solve the martial problems of the specific patients. However; it is absolutely the best when the original points are studied and determined before they become the serious and fatal clues to damage marriage. What I am talking about here is the prevention efforts to be applied to the time period before couples marry, not after. I also present my Prevention Plan containing the ideas, of preventing any chances that can cause divorce, for pre-marital couples.
This is the ultimate result of the combination of my total knowledge about marriage and the practical philosophy of Primary Prevention material. It is true that relationship before marriage plays an important role in coupled life ahead; it also builds the foundation for the good, healthy, and happy marriage. However, it is completely wrong saying that dating works effectively to screen out future divorces, particularly those that occur early in marriage.

Actually, dating does not have anything to do with the separation of married couples. The point here is that dating and marriage are different. Of course dating is important to lead to marriage. However, dating is a step to get two people closer and to see if they are for each other, and marriage is a commitment with full of incidents and probabilities. Loving someone, committing to him/her, and living together for the rest of your life are totally different. This illustrates well for the divorces happening early in marriage.
Many troublesome things happen when marriage life starts out. Things change dramatically, and the couples have to work through themselves or asking for professional help or divorces is the consequence. Another reason to say that dating is nothing to do with future divorces is that dating not working out leads to break-up right after that. People do not wait until they get into marriage, and then regret for what happen and say goodbye to each other. It does not work this way.
Really, problems can appear during the dating; couples tend to learn how to overcome it (just like married ones); however, if they cannot find the same solution for this problem, break-up is easy to be brought up right away. Separation in dating is a lot simpler and easier than marriage. No such couples resist each other’s problems until they get married. As what I said previously, my Prevention Plan, which I will introduce to you, is built upon my martial knowledge and the information from Primary Prevention material. So what is Primary Prevention?
It is actually a distinct level from the three-tier model, which is pretty much similar to the main Prevention model, containing Primary Prevention, Secondary Prevention, and Tertiary Prevention. Secondary Prevention (treatment activities) is about trying to decrease the length of time an individual or family experiences an emotionally distressful situation; Tertiary Prevention (rehabilitation activities) is about preventing the recurrence of a debilitating problem and to restore as high as possible the level of individual and family reorganization.
Like the other two, Primary Prevention, considered as a hybrid form originated from Prevention, has its own characteristics and techniques, which are about aiming to reduce the incidence of new cases of mental disorder in the population by fighting against harmful forces which operate in the community and by strengthening the capacity of people to resist stress. So, unlike the purpose of Secondary Prevention shortening the time the patients resist and purpose of Tertiary Prevention avoiding the repetition of the illness, the Primary Prevention is more straightened method of anti-emotional-distress.
It focuses directly on the fight against the mental illness created during the process by helping patients develop the abilities to avoid stress. Primary Prevention focuses mainly on groups of patients but for the specific problems that those groups obtain. To get a wider and deeper view of these concepts, let get back to the original Prevention. The fact is that the perception of Prevention is not new at all. The ideas that mental distress might be prevented and eliminated happened a long time ago, back to the ancient time.
However, the fully attainable concept of Prevention as a Public Health treatment was recently developed when the number of serious mentally ill patients as well as divorces goes higher and faster. Prevention provides strategies that not only help all the patients take part in avoid illness and promoting health, but also enlighten the misunderstanding and wrong claims and opinions about emotional distress. Really, there were any people bringing on the ideas saying that major illness is surely in large part genetically determined and is absolutely not preventable, at most modifiable.
Prevention proves that these ideas are wrong and that mental problems are not such diseases that can be hinted to any microorganism or DNA thread. They are actually troubles derived from the very normal routine life of each individual. Sometimes they can be cause from the factors of that patient’s life like family, friends, colleagues…; sometimes they are from the patient himself/herself. Therefore, because those problems are not genetic and instinctive, it is easy to result that they can be controlled, prevented, and eliminated. 4] So, how does Prevention do its jobs as a helpful treatment of promoting mental health and avoiding illness? The answer is in its technology given by four specific tools as Education, Community Organization, Competency Promotion, and Natural Caregiving. Each of them has different perspective, way of approaching, and practical application but they all have the same purpose of preventing mentally illness and promoting health. [3] My Plan of prevention of Divorce is a combination of martial and relationship tips, academic and proved material, and practically social information.
The points are simple rules and tips to some people in their lives, but these people are failed to recognize or even ignore and underestimate them. This leads to number of serious consequences to their marriage lives, even divorces. As I mentioned, all my attention will be the Prevention applied to the time period before couples married. Firstly, the optimal step for the all couples before they commit to each other in order to have a good and stable marriage is to question themselves and each other “Am I sure? Are you sure? [6] That means a premarital couple have to make sure the other is the only one and their ultimate finish of love. Both of them have to make it clear that the other one think the same and is literally willing to commit to this life ahead. [5] There are some couples rushing to marriage by their contemporary passion and feeling without thinking reasonably. Certainly, this kind of marriage later will obtain many obstacles and problems and suffer from the multiple consequences including divorce if they do not ask for any help. Marriage is an important thing ever happening to a person.
Make sure that is the right one and be ready to spend the rest time of your life with him/her. [1] The second point of the Prevention Plan is “Professional help is not supplementary, at all. ” Some couples think they are fine with everything; all they need to do is go ahead and be ready for a wedding without thinking twice about this as a big incident that will change their lives forever. Premarital counseling is extremely important that helps couples have a clearer and more complete view of what is going happen and how things change dramatically after they become husbands and wives.
Besides, this is also a chance for the couples to make up their mind again and see if the other one is really the one. This may create disappointments for some couples when they think they already know everything about their relationship (but they do not). However, this is one of the most effective ways to prevent the probability of divorces happen right before the marriage happens. [2] Another thing that affects most to the stability of marriage life of any couple is “Defining expectations can help build a good plan. ” Any victorious battle has its own strategy.
What are the expectations? They are intentions, standards, rules that are summed up by both sides of couple and will be applied for their future family. The same with this situation, a happy future house is not only built with love, but also with wisdom and knowledge. The expectations can be only found, treasured, and carried by communication, and the best way to communicate is, of course, talking. [6] Beside building, reinforcing, and enriching the love, respect, understanding to each other, the couples should take time having some serious talking, discussing about their future family.
Many things this talking can come with are such as finance, children, sex, housework, religion, jobs… Having a clearer and practical view of these factors can help couples avoid many unexpected issues popping up in their future life together. It will be a lot easier and simpler to avoid, deal with and fix these problems when the insiders already know the concepts of original issues. [2] Many people think it is wasting of time and unnecessary to spend their time for their future marriages while they have not even get married yet.
Actually, this period of time is the bridge between the dating and marriage. Maybe dating does not work effectively to screen out future divorces, particularly those that occur early in marriage; however, preventing is much better than fixing. This period of time is the most magnificent transition step for couple to reinforce their points of view, concepts, and knowledge about the marital lives waiting for them ahead. Therefore, I can surely say that my Prevention Plan will work effectively in any society, including a nation with a high rate of divorces like U.
S. As you can see above, this plan with three general tips is simple and trivial point in premarital relationship; however, missing, ignoring or even misusing them can lead to serious problems. Not only the citizens are educated about marriage promoting and divorce preventing, but also the influence of mental health service in U. S. will get more appreciations, attentions, and profits from the public. These profits can help improve the U. S’s medical health development in many ways also.
The open behaviors that I encourage couples to do are completely suitably helpful for Americans especially young people to develop themselves a confidence in dealing with different situations that life brings to them. Number of stably happy families maintains and improves; divorce decreases; society is higher in standards; the country is stronger. The best way to get the Prevention Plan maximized its power is to publicize and popularize them as a guide for premarital, engaged, or long-termed couples.
The therapists, professionals, or mentalists of Marital Mental Healthcare need to know about and encourage the couples to apply it. The plan should be also introduced to people by media like Science newspapers, Family or Health magazines, the online articles… In order to get more results, the government also should legalize the law that each premarital couple have to take mandatory Marriage and Family course in order to have better perspectives of what they are going to face in the near future and to give them a chance to rethink if what they are doing is right or wrong.
This will raise a flow of opposing ideas from media and public about imposing and frustrating premarital couples. This Prevention working means the rate of marriage of U. S. will decrease in some way also due to the cut way of couples who realize they are not ready for marriage. The birth rate is also stable due to the couples already talked about children issues before marriage. There are absolutely less poor or foster-care children due to the number of broken families reduce. The children’s future life quality is more clearly defined in a positive way. [1]
Divorce rate decrease can lead to many social advantages and benefits to both people and government. My plan simply gives a little help to the couples that will be the future husbands or wives. Hopefully with its help, our nation will develop in a stable tempo. Though my plan plays as a tool to prevent Divorce for couples before marriage, it is the most important when the couples themselves are willing to do what the plan says. References 1. “How do you know that you married the right person? ” Available: http://www. marriagemax. com/prevent-divorce. asp 2. Prevent Divorce before you get married. ” June 22, 2009. Available: http://www. crosswalk. com/family/marriage/prevent-divorce-before-you-get-married-11605052. html 3. “Wellness – Primary Prevention. ” Material. 4. Primary Prevention and its technology. ” Material. 5. Marriage and the family: Diversity and Strengths (7th Edition). Olson-DeFrain – Skogrand. Chapter 9: Friendship, Intimacy, Friendship. Material. 6. “Preventing Divorce Before you Say ‘I Do’. ” January 30, 2007. Available: http://voices. yahoo. com/preventing-divorce-say-do-177817. html

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